Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Amortization & Conglomeration Rumor?!

After recent inflammatory remarks were pontificated in the ongoing legal drama concerning eligibility of those hoping to compete for the Gallup Cup, a new twist in the competitive scene may have developed.

Incited and enraged by inferences that the current Gallup Cup Champions were without serious competition this year, strong-legged Gallupians have come together in opposition.  It is a well-documented fact that the Gallup Cup will go to Gallup's fastest team regardless if that team is either a duo, three-man, four-man, or seven man.

In honoring these parameters, it appears that a four to six man posse is being assembled with the express purpose to destroy the 2011 Gallup Cup Champions (Andy Stravers & Chuck Van Drunen) and their incessant referencing of themselves as the 2011 Gallup Cup Champions (Andy Stravers & Chuck Van Drunen).

Not the least of their transgressions, the 2011 Gallup Cup Champions (Andy Stravers & Chuck Van Drunen), having forced Chad "The Ghost" Meekoff to drink pints of Guiness from the actual Gallup Cup and posting pictures of such on this blog.

Initial reports suggest the duo combinations of Allen/Dirk & Chad/Greg are conglomerating with possible additions of Paul "King Air" Berry and Kevin "Chicken Killer" Zwiers...all joining forces to form a Miami Heat-esque super team that hopes to dish out unrelenting fresh pain, lap after lap, not only on the 2011 Gallup Cup Champions (Andy Stravers & Chuck Van Drunen), but also upon the possible sandbag specialist team of Peter Tempest & Haji Corona (contract pending??).

Organizational structure and team management, however, may prohibit such a merger...as well as a strong fear of loud, tedious whining from 2011 Gallup Cup Champions (Andy Stravers & Chuck Van Drunen), and at this point all team options are still speculative.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

First Draft: AGREEMENT AUTHORIZING SANDBAGGING TO PLACATE YOUNG GUNS

This Agreement made this 22 day of February, 2010 between Peter Tempest (“The Good Doctor”) and Chuck Van Drunen and Andy Stravers (“Young Guns”).
RECITALS:
WHEREAS, The Good Doctor and the Young Guns have a bitter, longstanding rivalry over the GALLUP CUP (top local team at Dawn til Dusk) which until last year was dominated by the Good Doctor.

WHEREAS, The Young Guns are ridiculously competitive toward accomplished, senior Gallup riders like the Good Doctor and are always scheming to knock them off the competitive pedestal at the same time they try to borrow bikes and equipment from the very people they are scheming against.

WHEREAS, The Young Guns beat the Good Doctor like a drum to win last year’s GALLUP CUP and can’t stand to think that the target is now on their back and they are frantically trying to come up with ways to paint themselves as the underdogs again this year in spite of last year’s victory.

IT IS NOW MUTUALLY AGREED BY THE PARTIES:
  1. Sandbagger legitimized. Former (very briefly) Gallup resident Hadji Corona (Cat 1 last year but moving up to Pro this year) is eligible to compete with the Good Doctor for this year’s GALLUP CUP even though he is not a current Gallup resident.
  2. Whining prohibited. The Young Guns are expressly prohibited from whining about Hadji Corona’s eligibility if it results in them getting trounced at this year’s Dawn til Dusk.
  3. Indemnification against grievances by other Gallup teams. Young Guns agree to indemnify the Good Doctor and hold him harmless from grievances from other Gallup teams who have been insulted and demeaned by the Young Gun’s recent blog posts which necessarily infer that they are not even part of the competitive mix.

WITNESS OUR HANDS THE DAY AND YEAR FIRST ABOVE WRITTEN:

____________________________
Peter Tempest (The Good Doctor)
____________________________
Chuck Van Drunen (Young Gun)
____________________________
Andy Stravers (Young Gun)

Monday, February 20, 2012

Legal Eagle

After consultation with legal professional Robert Rosebrough, it was obvious that if Peter Tempest raced with former Gallupian Haji Corona as a duo in the Dawn 2 Dusk 12 hour race...that they would NOT be eligible to compete for the Gallup Cup (the most venerated prize of the entire event).

This has caused great distress to reigning Gallup Cup Champions, Andy Stravers & Chuck Van Drunen, because this year's race was shaping up to be a veritable "cakewalk."  With Peter Tempest attempting a cowardly escape by registering solo, the Champions were unfortunately looking at a nearly guaranteed pattycake victory.

Yet in true form to their championship nature the Champions are currently working on legal documentation that would allow former Gallupian, Haji Corona, to compete with Dr. Tempest for the ultimate prize.  In the words of Andy Stravers, "I'd rather battle loaded sandbaggers and lose than take a comfortable empty victory."  Likewise, Chuck Van Drunen, simply states, " We will win regardless..."

The final legal documentation should be ready this week, when all parties sign off.  Initial reports say there is a binder clause to be added that would require Dr. Tempest to loan a carbon fiber bike to A. Stravers for the event.

Notes:  Haji Corona was the Cat 1 2011 Screamer champion, and recently finished 7th at the Quad.  Peter Tempest is well know for putting the hammer down on livestock.  Andy Stravers recently took 6th place @ the Moab Red Hot 33k Trail Run.  Chuck Van Drunen was reached via satellite phone for comment, and was last seen riding a snowmobile in the Chuska Mts., supposedly in search of his amish/yeti ancestors.