Tuesday, January 10, 2012

A Battle for the Soul of Rez Dog Racing is Being Waged...

Perhaps you're familiar with the Dark Side...
It harnesses an inner strength so many have and molds it to its destructive purposes.  Leaders can be engulfed and changed.  Your whole DNA can be mutated, unleashing a destructive strength that can even control your own free will.

This is the story of the Dark Side's growing strength in an otherwise ambivalent bike team:

It began with two small innocent acts colliding. 

The 1st: 

This was purchased



What appears an innocent, even benign machine, it gives the Dark Side a small molecule to which it can take hold.


The 2nd: 
A simple email from an upstanding member of the community, it read: 
"And here is another subject:  The Tour of the Gila.  It seems that there are some changes this year and that the organizers have dropped the regular Cat 5 group in favor of a larger Cat 4 race.  So, if you are a Senior Men Cat 5 racer, you have to upgrade to a 4 in order to race the Gila this year.  In addition, the organizers have structured a Masters Group A with riders of 40+ and Cat 1, 2, 3 (5 day race) and a Masters Group B of 40+ with Cat 3, 4, 5 (4 day race).  Don't ask me why these changes were made because I don't understand them.  My racing age is 40 this year, so I just qualified for the Masters Group B division and I registered for the race soon after.  It's filling up quickly and I'ld like to have a fellow Rez Dog down there.

Let me know if you are interested"


Within a small amount of time another member was considering his next purchase: 


Some of the team's most experienced Jedis, upon seeing the Dark Side's attempts at an in-way, were quick to intervene:
"The darkness is trying to suck us in, we must be tough and resist lest those with rollers cannot!
Let us not hope for the end of the world according to Mayan 2012."

One of the team's wisest Jedi's shared the wounds of previous battles fought:
"It has taken me a full 15 + years to recover from the last time I did the Tour of the Gila.  I may go down for a day or two to do some rides, drink some beer and generally check it out, but there is no way in *#@% that I am going down to race. "


A bold response worried the council: 
"We are growing in numbers Paul while you were away in Mancos.....we are growing."

One of the team's most brash and aggressive Jedi's removed his running shoes and spoke the words so many dreaded, but all knew were needed:
"paul, get your lightsaber out- we've got battle to do!!!"

A padawan learner from a small southern town on the outskirts of the empire then revealed just how far the Dark Side's influence had reached and to whom his allegiance had been given: 
"I fight with the Dirk Side. I wanna race the Gila! I'm definitely interested Beek!!"

In a near instant another Dark Side slip:
"Dark side sounds cool when doing it to other, non-teammates.... "

Having waged this battle years ago in places with funny accents, a back-from-the-grave Jedi spoke of his ancient trials:
 "That's fine and all but once you request the 'dirkness' there is no returning to the lightness of tires with fatness.
Be careful youngster, those of us with wisdom and knowledge of such things have spoken.
PB"

With little regard for niceties or convention, the Sith Lord revealed himself in full glory:
"The Empire strikes back!  Welcome Chad, my padawan learner..."

As the founder of this very council of Jedis and one who so precisely wields his lightsaber everyday removing growths form the backs of townfolk, the "doctor" urged the council to kill the infection and reminded them of their humble roots:
"Fear the Dirkness!  What happened to the terrain billionaires?"


The wise Jedi they call, "the warrior," in his slow, quiet tone, revealed the crux of the situation:
"here is a battle raging for the soul of Rez Dog Racing and in particular for the soul of one dog . . . . . Chuck.  The lines are pretty well drawn and the fates of most dogs have been sealed for better or worse, but Chuck’s silence is deafening!!  Is Chuck a terrain billionaire or a roller king?"


And so the battle began with insults and jabs:
From one:
"its ok greg, you can admit defeat...
do they make stans no stubes for road rims?my big question is will there be room in the rez dog ice chest for post road ride wine coolers...?
hmmm."

"roadies do drink beer!!!"