ROADIE ROOKIE SAVES THE DAY

McGaffey Challenge

By Bob 

The pack was in a frenzied, yelping state last week over a road biking challenge initiated by Lloyd Ellis and Jen Witt.  A report: 

1. THE NATURE OF THE BEAST.  Lloyd and Jen came up with the idea of a time trial challenge that starts at the last light on east Highway 66 near  Denny’s before heading east, turning south on State Road 400 and making the sustained climb up to McGaffey.  The challenge ends at the end of the pavement.  Lloyd and Jenn posted a solid time of 1:06 and then threw down the gauntlet to the rest of the pack by posting their time on a sheet in Cabin 34 that described the terms of the challenge. 
2. DIRK SHOWBOATS FOR WEDNESDAY NIGHT BIKE CROWD.    Has Dirk ever passed up a dark side (road biking) challenge?  No. Never.  He couldn’t do it if he wanted to and, let me assure you, he doesn’t want to – especially when he is in good form.  The ink was still drying on Lloyd and Jen’s challenge at Cabin 34 and Dirk was plotting.  And as you might suspect, he picked a time to draw maximum attention to his feat.  Late in the afternoon on Wednesday, Dirk put his head down and started hammering the course.  As the fat tire gang was gathering for the weekly ride in the forest, the Hollebeast strode triumphantly into Cabin 34 (there were unconfirmed reports that trumpets were blaring as he entered) and penned a new record time of 56:30 (!) on the challenge sheet. 

3. ROAD ROOKIE PICKS UP A LIGHT SABER TO FIGHT THE DARK SIDE.  Within only two days of Dirk’s feat, an unlikely hero emerged.  Greg Cavanaugh (reportedly after staying up to 3am watching the entire original Star Wars trilogy) began making calls to borrow a road bike.  Greg Cavanaugh?  Has Greg ever ridden a road bike?  Well . . . he has now.  Late Friday morning, Greg - on an ancient 8 speed Trek borrowed from Peter - dug deeper than he has ever dug in his life and hit the cattle guard in a time of 55:55.  Yes that’s right.  55:55!  A roadie rookie’s time was 35 seconds faster that the feared Hollebeast!!! 

A CONCLUDING QUESTION:  Was Greg’s amazing feat totally legit or, perhaps, did he have help from a group of Rez Dog’s who were in such a frenzied state over Dirk’s showboating that they came together to form a drafting train to aide his victory?  We’ve thought a lot about this and come to a definite conclusion.  Greg’s ride was legit and here is why is has to be legit:  Clearly the only guy with the moxie, motive and muscle to orchestrate a group effort in aide of Greg’s record breaking ride is Chuck Van Drunen (aka Night Guy, Racer Boy, Terrain Billionaire, etc.) and anyone who has seen or talked to Chuck lately knows that he is completely out to lunch.  Something snapped in Chuck’s psyche after he put in 7 races (2 in Santa Fe, 4 in the Gila and 1 at 12HOMV) in only 15 days.  Since Cortez, Chuck has been flopping like a live fish on hot pavement.  One day he is talking about racing.  The next he is giving up racing and talking about adventure and epic rides.  The next he is looking forward to winter and snowmobiling.  With Chuck being totally and completely out to lunch, no one else could have pulled together such a successful group effort.  Greg’s ride is officially legit!!  Put it in the record book.