FULL MOON STUNS
KEVIN,
CHUCK THROWS BOB
“UNDER THE BUS”,
& TROUBLE IN SOFA
SLEEPER HEAVEN
In
what has become an annual event, a pack of Rez Dogs headed out to a couple of wild,
secret places on the Colorado plateau to celebrate Peter Tempest’s birthday and
enjoy their status as terrain billionaires.
A report: (see the post below for some of the amazing pics)
1. You will want to check this out. First stop was a stunning natural arch – the
9th largest in the world - hidden in a maze of remote canyons on the
eastern flank of a mountain chain. This
arch was first seen by non-Natives in 1988 (when Chad was 3, Greg was 8, Chuck
and Paul were 14, Peter was 26 and Bob was 35) and is protected from the
outside world by multiple defensive layers.
The excursion started out pretty sketchily with a rocky, sand-fest of a
ride (Scott Nydam on his pugsley was the only guy not constantly fishtailing
and making believers out of more than a couple of Rez Dogs), but ended up exceeding expectations
when the arch suddenly popped into view above us. Hey, guys this is a special place – one that
you will really want to check out at some point in your life.
2. Chuck throws Bob under the bus. In the last couple of weeks, Chuck Van Drunen
was a whirling dervish of activity in three different states. I know, you say Chuck is always a whirling dervish. Yeah, you’re right, but the last couple of
weeks (Hurricane, Stuccoing the Box S Cabin, Fruita/Grand Junction & Santa
Fe) have been off the charts even by Chuck’s standards. As a result, Chuck didn’t get the word about
this year’s trip to everyone on his list and, from the beginning he was worried
about who might have been left out.
Predictably, as we were headed out from the arch to the main road he got
a call from Chad “the Ghost” Meekhof who was free for the weekend, but learned
about the trip too late. Instead of
taking the bullet himself, Chuck threw Bob (all 235 pounds of him) “under the
bus” by telling Chad, “Bob sent out the emails. Didn’t he include you?” Bob only dug his hole deeper when he took
Chuck’s cell and told Chad, “Just get on your knees and beg your wife for
permission to come. It’s not too late to
meet us in Chinle.”
3. Full
moon stuns Kevin. After driving over
an Alpe D’ Huez - like road bike ride (super steep, tight switchbacks) that
Paul Berry had scouted and wants us to ride soon, we met Kevin Zwiers on the
other side and who seemed dazed and disoriented – almost like he had been
stunned by the sight of a full moon (or two).
Kevin seemed so transfixed by the full moon that later in the night he
asked Greg Cavanaugh to take a few shots of it on Chuck’s camera when Chuck was
otherwise occupied.
4. Peter
discloses yet another T-bone. On the rim of Canyon de Chelly with moon light
and a sheep birthday cake Peter let it slip out that not only has he T-boned a
sheep and a Ferrari (driven by a blonde who bitched him out and then threatened
to sue him), but a dog on a rez ride as well.
A quick head count revealed that Paul hit a cow with a glancing blow
once and Scott smacked a kid with a basket full on rocks on his head in Rwanda,
but the other six guys had no T-bones while Peter now has three (that we know
about). Is this story never going to
end? By the time this is over, can you
imagine what Peter’s birthday cake is going to look like? There won’t be enough room to put everything
on it that he has T-boned.
5. Trouble
in sofa sleeper heaven. Chuck and
Paul went to bed bickering like an old married couple and within minutes of the
alarm going off at 6am they were back at it:
“It was like I had a Yeti breathing down my neck all night”, “You breathe
the same way when you sleep that you breathe when you are climbing on your
bike”, and “At least you didn’t have to sleep all night next to a guy in paper
thin tighty whiteys.”
6. An outrageously remote slick rock paradise. Sunday was reserved for our annual slickrock
epic ride – which this year we rode from north to south. You know, epic is an overused word, but this ride
is really is just that. It’s one that of
the few things we do in our modern lives that is a little adventurous. This year we replaced a two mile stretch of
sandy two track in the morning with a dicey traverse on angled slickrock ending
with a gnarly hike-a-bike that then leads to an outrageously remote sea of slickrock
on a high mesa. (see the post below for proof) This year’s stats were 7
½ hours, 4 flats (3 by Peter and 1 by Bob), 0 major mechanicals and 44 miles (5
on dirt road to start, 30 on amazing slickrock, 4 on mixed ground with sand and
5 on pavement to finish). New to the ride
this year were ace photographer Brian Leddy; Kevin; recently local Scottie
Nydam; and as a distinguished guest Scott’s buddy, Obed Ruvogera, from Team
Rwanda Cycling. Obed is in the states to
accompanying the much anticipated release of “Rising from the Ashes” featuring
his cycling team.
Check it out here: http://risingfromashesthemovie.com/
Concluding
questions. Did Greg really say that or
was it a dream? I’m talking about our
underappreciated director sportif, Greg, who started this year’s trip – as he
did last year – by saying, “My goal this year is to not make the blog.” We have, as usual, some wildly conflicting
reports but several dogs report that Greg randomly blurted out (As he was
walking out of the Chinle Burger King. Yeah, that’s right – the Chinle Burger
King of all places.), “My penis is adequately sized – more than adequately
sized”. Is there a more sure fire way to
make the blog? Well, if there is, I
haven’t heard it yet. Have you? The next morning Chuck was saying, “I had the
weirdest dream. I dreamed that Greg was
talking about the size of his penis at the Chinle Burger King. That had to be a dream. That’s way too crazy to have really
happened.” As always, we report. You decide.
