It seemed too good to be true. The Dr. with a large grin happily offered to shuttle Andy and Chuck (2011&2012 Gallup Cup Champions)from Milk Ranch and take them to the secret "Grasshopper Express" trail, whereupon they would ride to Grasshopper and then on Nutria and then on to Box S Land.
From Lost Lake lookout Dr.Mutton then ambled aimlessly thru rock gardens till he found the spot where the trail began. "I gotta go home now guys...but just go down to the saddle take a left and enjoy grasshopper"
In an instant he was gone. Andy and I proceeded about 100 yards before the trail disintegrated into a mash of scrub oak unclimbable grades and complete bushwack carnage. A maze of random deer trails & ravines about as complex as the cable routing on greg's bikes proceeding to foul up our already hike a bike pace.
An hour later we mananged to find a two track with led to 16 others that had no rhyme or reason and seemed to go in circles amidst the bermuda triangle of hogback ridges that defiantly tried to conceal Danoff rd. from our searching tires.
"He's laughing right now...you know that Andy?...He's laughing his ass off."
Andy says nothing...and simply rides off in a random direction while I squint at my crappy GPS.
Somehow we find each other again.
The GPS does it's job...but not without 4 or 5 leg grinding climbs and another hour...we find Danoff.
"Grasshopper Express???....More like Grasshopper Business Route with a traffic jam."
"He got us good." "He screwed us so hard"
"There is no way anyone in their right mind could call that a trail"
"Dude were 2 hours late."
"How could anyone send a living being down that trail in good conscience?"
"We should send Greg down here....? (first smile in 2 hours).
"Peter got the last laugh...dude.."
"Yep...he's jamming out to some steve miller band in his truck..smiling...big smile dude..."